Happiness is Sometimes Lonely

and that's probably the ultimate goal.

I always think about happiness. I’m mostly confused by it. Is it a feeling? A moment? A wave of elation? Or anything that isn’t sad/anger/pain/hurt?

We strive to meet a certain destination because at some level, it’s the closest thing we have to measure our progress. The stronger a certain feeling feels, the more it seems like we’re finally getting to that Thing we’ve worked so hard for. The more certain it feels, the less scary the uncertainty. We simply want to move away from the difficult feelings towards a point of ease, and maybe the ease of feeling things is really the happiness we’re looking for.

It’s been a while since I’ve free-written like this so I want to thank Jalloh Studios and Dhayana Alejandrina for hosting their first Healing Words workshop this year, where I got to write for 10-15 minutes straight about what happiness means to me. Here’s a little something I wrote: